The Spectacular Escape of Shondrelle Mercedes

It’s going to require numerous IRA agents.

George W. Bush

It’s your money. You paid for it.

George W. Bush

In the beginning, there were the Money Whores, the women who got paid by men for sex. For men submit so easily to temptation. Then, there were the Temple Whores, the women who took men on a spiritual journey in the name of the gods. And finally, there were the Time Whores – the culmination of all whores. Shondrelle Mercedes was of this last type. She was not defined by her clients’ needs – quite the opposite. She was the one who left her mark on them. She was the one who had the power.

Shondrelle had always been good at manipulating men. They were like putty in her hands. She would bat her eyelids, give them a wink, and they would be hers forever. She was what a friend of hers called a “power whore” – a woman who used her sexuality to exert influence over men.

It wasn’t until the alien invasion, however, that she became a true master of the art. With the collapse of the world economy, and the takeover by the alien business elite, men were more susceptible than ever to female charms. Their need to find a woman who could take away the pain, even if only for a brief moment, was greater than ever.

And Shondrelle knew just how to do it. She had studied the art of tantric sex, and she could keep a man hard for hours. They were always amazed by her energy, her daring. It was amazing how she could simultaneously play the demure virgin card and yet be dominant and controlling. It was an inexplicably lethal combination.

One of her clients was a senator, a man whose wife had died of cancer, leaving him to raise their three children alone. His name was Devorre Benson, and he was a wealthy, powerful man. He had a mansion on the coast and a yacht named The Golden Dream. He was also a very lonely man. He became a repeat customer of Shondrelle, paying her two thousand dollars a visit.

It was not uncommon for a man in Devorre’s position to turn to prostitution, but the authorities (especially the aliens) frowned on it. The idea that a man could pay a woman to have sex with him was seen as immoral.

And so, it was decided that there should be a crackdown on prostitution.

A new branch of law enforcement was created, called the Sex Police. They had the authority to arrest anyone they suspected of engaging in the “sex trade”. This included prostitutes, pimps, and johns (the customers). It was an unprecedented move by the authorities, but the public was in favor of it because of course they were.

The Sex Police began sweeping the streets, arresting everyone they could find. It was a purge of sorts. They rounded up the streetwalkers and the brothel owners, the pimps and the madams, the call girls and the escorts.

Shondrelle was fine for a while – she had already been concealing her work as a prostitute. But such concealment wasn’t meant to protect against this level of scrutiny. And soon, the Sex Police were onto her.

It started with a phone call. The caller identified himself as Special Agent Jacke Rensselaer. He wanted to speak with her about an important matter. She agreed to meet him at a cafe downtown.

“Hello, Ms. Mercedes,” the agent said, shaking her hand. “I’m Special Agent Jacke Rensselaer, and I’d like to talk to you about your profession.”

“My profession?” Shondrelle replied, innocently.

“Yes. You’re a prostitute, aren’t you?” He was a calm yet determined type. Dark hair, dark eyes, and a serious demeanor.

“No, sir. I’m a dancer.”

“A dancer? Well, we’ll see about that. Come with me, please.”

Before he could get up, she punched him as hard as she could in the nose. The agent yelled in pain and surprise. Before he could react, she kicked him in the crotch. Another scream. The entire cafe was watching now.

She turned and ran, leaving the agent bleeding on the floor. She knew where to go: the White House. It was the safest place for her now.

As she ran, the Sex Police were already giving chase. But they weren’t the only ones. There was a group of protesters outside the White House, protesting the president’s involvement in the crackdown.

When Shondrelle appeared, the crowd went wild. They recognized her instantly, and they surged forward. She was lifted onto their shoulders and paraded through the streets.

The Sex Police were helpless to stop her. Surrounding her on every side were hundreds of protesters, protecting her from capture. Smiling to herself, she realized that she had become a symbol, a heroine.

As the protests grew, the government was faced with a difficult decision. Either they had to release Shondrelle or they had to use force against the protesters. They chose the former, no doubt at the direction of their alien overlords, who subsequently loosened the ban slightly. As a result, the Sex Police were reduced to a minimum.

Shondrelle Mercedes had become a heroine. She had shown the government that it could not simply trample on the rights of the people without pushback.

As for President Wolf Kitcher, his reputation as a reformer was greatly damaged. The protests against him grew and grew. His administration became increasingly unpopular. Even the aliens began favoring a different puppet leader, and soon the president was replaced.

And that’s how the Time Whores changed the course of history.

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