The “Human Story”: Keir Starmer Is Poison

So, while all the usual vents are being filled with steam over the US election, over in the UK, which had an election earlier this year, “Sir” Keir Starmer has gotten himself into trouble (who could have predicted that?!). It turns out that another British prime minister is leveraging his position for special benefits!

Me and My Free Stuff

So, while the UK election was going on, Keir Starmer, the Labour Party candidate, “borrowed” a very expensive penthouse from a very wealthy campaign donor so that his son could have a place free from distraction in order to study for school.

We had a situation where the election was called. Not what we expected … My son happened to be in the middle of his GCSEs. That means there are a lot of journalists outside the front door and in the street. I’m not complaining about that. But if you’re 13, as my girl is, if you’re 16, as my boy is, that’s quite hard to navigate when you’re concentrating on GCSEs.

Keir Starmer

“Any other parent would have made the same decision,” he said.

Yes, that may be true, but what about all the other people in the UK who don’t have that choice to begin with? What about people who can’t afford to heat their homes and therefore have to study for their GCSEs while freezing their asses off? What about the people who live in cluttered housing and deal with distractions every single day and have to because there’s nowhere else they can afford to go? Isn’t the Labour Party supposed to be all about people over privilege?

Starmer said, “If you’re putting to me that I should have stayed in my Kentish Town home and disrupted my son’s GCSEs, that that was the right thing to do, then I think you should put that to me.”

Yes, Keir, you should have stayed in your Kentish Town home and disrupted your son’s GCSEs instead of taking advantage of expensive benefits offered to you! Is it too much to ask that the prime minister have some fucking integrity?

Keir, like all sleazy, slimy, scummy politicians, is trying to control the message. Repeatedly talking over the interviewer and refusing to answer her questions as posed, and instead going off on his own little rambles about the “human reason” behind the numbers (translation: “please disregard the numbers and just listen to what I tell you”), Keir has proven that he’s not interested in improving the lot of the British people.

Aside from that, Starmer has received “more than £100,000 of freebies in the form of tickets, clothes and accommodation.” (https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2024/sep/25/keir-starmer-flat-labour-donor-waheed-alli-son-gcses)

Ah, the story of corruption never ends! Meanwhile, he says, “If we want to maintain support for the welfare state, then we will legislate to stop benefit fraud, do everything we can to tackle worklessness.”

Ah yes, because you’re sure busting your ass, aren’t you? – getting thousands in free stuff that the underclass you so demean would kill for! And you have the audacity to talk about worklessness!

You don’t even know who you’re talking about, do you? You don’t know a thing about the underclass that’s soon to burst its banks if you stay your course.

Resignation (Unfortunately Not Keir’s)

An MP in Starmer’s party recently resigned, saying: “I can no longer stay a Labour MP under your management of the party, and this letter is my notice that I wish to resign the Labour Party whip with immediate effect. […] You repeat often that you will make the ‘tough decisions’ and that the country is ‘all in this together’. But those decisions do not directly affect any one of us in Parliament. They are cruel and unnecessary, and affect hundreds of thousands of our poorest, most vulnerable constituents.”

Another quote from her resignation letter: “How dare you take our longed-for victory, the electorate’s sacred and precious trust, and throw it back in their individual faces and the faces of dedicated and hardworking Labour MPs?! The sleaze, nepotism and apparent avarice are off the scale. I am so ashamed of what you and your inner circle have done to tarnish and humiliate our once proud party.”

You’re “all in this together”, are you, Keir? With whom? Because you’re not in it together with your people, the people you won’t even give a straight answer to.

Wealth Creation?

Starmer told CNBC: “We now have a Labour government whose number one priority is wealth creation.”

Wealth creation for whom?! Not for the Average Joe on the street!

Is there any difference at all between Labour and the Conservative Party anymore? Sure, their policies are different, but the leaders are all the same, always looking after their own interests. They’re super-rich androids through and through.

There are going to be more hard decisions to be made when it comes to the budget.

Yes, and who will feel the effects of those “hard decisions”? Not you, Keir. Nothing at all will happen to you.

Isn’t it insane that leaders sit above their own policies and are completely unaffected by them? They can impose all the restrictions they want because they’ll never feel the effects.

Starmer On Equality

Addressing the UN:

This is the moment for peace, progress, equality.

Not equality, surely! Not while Starmer is in power.

Looking Worse Than Rishi Sunak(!)

Keir Starmer now less popular than Rishi Sunak, poll suggests

Now that takes some doing! And in less than three months, too! Man, whatever this guy’s on, I gotta get me some! Starmer is looking set to be the least popular Labour leader in recent memory! Congratulations to Mr Starmer, who is no doubt pouring out a celebratory (or remedial, not sure which) whiskey right now!

Gestures

UK Labour leader Keir Starmer says he’ll end the era of ‘gestures and gimmicks’ if he wins power

Well that hope was remarkably short-lived, wasn’t it??

No More Clothes for Keir 😭

PM will no longer accept donations to pay for clothes

Explaining the decision to stop accepting donations for clothing, Culture Secretary Lisa Nandy told BBC Breakfast: “People are really struggling in this country and we don’t want people to believe that we are living very different lives from them.”

Why not? You are!!!

So, we have two possible situations here. 1) It was not wrong for Keir to receive freebies, in which case, why is he no longer doing so? Or 2) it was wrong for him to receive freebies, in which case, why hasn’t he admitted that instead of claiming he did nothing against the law?! Why doesn’t any interviewer ask him these simple questions? He could always walk away, sure, but then, he’d just end up looking even worse – the man who criticizes the dishonesty of Conservative government can’t even give a straight answer!

Keir’s political career would be over if anyone with a significant voice asked the right questions. And that’s why he never does give a straight answer, he only redirects.

Keir the Robot

Britain has elected a ‘political robot’ as next PM. What to expect from Keir Starmer

Hmm, sounds about right.

A Continuation of Tory Austerity By Other Means

The effects of Starmer’s government will be just the same as that of the Conservatives: austerity, poverty, and the NHS being underfunded while Keir and his buddies live it up. They’re all the same. None of them will do what needs to be done.

No More

The British people have been through a lot of shit. They’ve been faced with inept government after inept government, each prime minister doing nothing to address rampant inequality. It’s time their voices were acknowledged.

The Speech

This is a ripping-apart of Keir Starmer’s speech at the Labour Party Conference on September 24, 2024. The speech is shown in bold.

Thank you, Conference. And I do mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Conference for everything you have done to fulfil the basic duty of this party – our Clause One – so we can return this great nation to the service of working people.  Thank you Conference.

By “serving the working people”, you mean killing winter fuel payments for pensioners, right? By that, you mean accepting thousands in gifts to prove you have no integrity, right? You’re a disgrace to the Labour Party, and if you don’t know that by now, then you must be the dumbest fuck to ever get in office anywhere.

People said we couldn’t do it, but we did. And we did it together. And look at this now, a record-breaking conference. The biggest attendance ever in our history. And such a far cry from my first conference speech to a live audience of one – the camera man. Socially distanced, in an arts centre in Doncaster. Remember that? Don’t worry, most people don’t. Not even the camera man.

Probably because you succeeded in doing the thing most politicians are best at doing – dancing around the issue and not getting to the point! It’s pretty strange to boast about how forgettable your speech was.

But I bet you do remember the year after, Conference. In Brighton – three years ago. The turning of the tide. A fight for the heart and soul of this party. People said – we were going too far. People said – we were going too fast. They didn’t want to face the country. They wanted to go back to a comfort zone, take the easier road to nowhere, duck the challenge of change. But we stood firm, Conference. We stood together, Conference, and we won.

So take pride in your victory. Take pride that Labour won in every single region of England. Take pride that Labour won in Wales. Take pride that Labour won in Scotland. But never forget that this opportunity is only here because we changed the party. Country first, party second – that isn’t a slogan. It’s the foundation of this project. 

Maybe you misspoke. Your policy is clearly Keir first, country second. Absolutely nothing is changing other than that the poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer, as you yourself so aptly demonstrate.

A pact with working people we must fulfil to retain the privilege of serving their interests.

Is it in their interests that you received those gifts, Keir? Is it in their interests that you rented a highly expensive penthouse for free during the election? Is it in their interests that you want to subject benefit claimants to a level of scrutiny that no one else has to face (i.e., disclosing their bank account activity to the government), thus subjecting already disenfranchised people to even more distrust instead of helping them? Is it in their interests that you wanted to cut pensioners’ winter fuel payments?

Keir Starmer clearly has a very confused idea about what “serving the interests of the people” means.

On economic stability, national security, wealth creation, protecting our borders, rooting out Antisemitism, standing with NATO and Ukraine. The changes we made are permanent. Irreversible. And the work of service never stops. Country first, party second. 

The problem with the UK is not a lack of wealth. The problem is the extremely unequal distribution of that wealth and the privilege of institutions like government. The problem is the extreme inequality of opportunity. But of course, Keir doesn’t want you to think about that, does he? Like every single politician, he’s in it for himself and doesn’t have the slightest grasp of the fact that he’s killing the soul of his country! He’s a careerist, a moronic hard-head, an android.

Which politician will tell you the truth that wealth inequality and privilege (inequality of opportunity) are the problems with the UK?! Absolutely none of them! Piss or get off the pot! Be honest or don’t bother!

But Conference, for many people in this city the speech they may remember was the one here two years ago. Because that’s when I promised, on this stage, that if I ever had the privilege to serve our country as Prime Minister one of my first acts would be to bring in a Hillsborough law – a duty of candour. A law for Liverpool. A law for the 97. A law that people should never have needed to fight so hard to get, but that will be delivered by this Labour Government.  It’s also a law for the sub-postmasters in the Horizon scandal. The victims of infected blood. Windrush. Grenfell Tower. And all the countless injustices over the years, suffered by working people at the hands of those who were supposed to serve them. 

This guy can’t clock his own hypocrisy, can he? Well, my bullshit detector is going wild.

Let’s tell you Keir’s game, because it’s a very simple one. Whenever he makes a popular decision, he’ll say, “See, I told you I’d serve your interests!” But whenever he makes an unpopular decision, he’ll say, “I did tell you that there would be some tough decisions to make!” His “hard decisions” narrative constitutes what we might call covering his bases – giving himself the room to do whatever he wants and then justify it rhetorically afterwards.

Truth and justice concealed behind the closed ranks of the state.

What a fucking hypocrite. Maybe, if truth and justice were your primary concerns, you’d directly answer an interviewer’s questions instead of going off on a deliberate tangent, wouldn’t you? A man who’s done everything above board, nothing wrong or unethical, and has only ever acted in the interests of everyone would not have any need to redirect or deflect questions. Yet like all politicians, Keir is well-versed in looking after number one.

And Conference, this is the meaning of Clause One. Because today I can confirm that the duty of candour will apply to public authorities and public servants, the Bill will include criminal sanctions, and that the Hillsborough law will be introduced to Parliament before the next anniversary in April. It’s work that shows how a government of service must act in everything it does.

Our driving purpose. To show to the working people of this country that politics can be a force for good. Politics can be on the side of truth and justice. Politics can secure a better life for your family through the steady but uncompromising work of service.

Tell that to the pensioners whose homes you wanted to make cold. Tell that to the underclass, particularly benefit claimants, whose financial information you want government employees – who will surely handle everything responsibly – to directly review. Is life better for them? Yes or no? The UK has an enormous underclass problem, and it’s not going to go away if you’re not prepared to treat people in it with dignity and respect.

Because service is the responsibility and opportunity of power.

Someone please remind Keir of the definitions of “responsibility” and “opportunity”, because he’s clearly muddled them with something else.

The pre-condition for hope. The bond of respect that can unite a country, bind us to the politics of national renewal. Service doesn’t mean we’ll get everything right.

Is this a speech or is it a list of soundbites?

It doesn’t mean everyone will agree. But it does mean we understand that every decision we take, we take together.

You literally just said two completely opposite things. If people don’t agree, then they’re not making the decision with you.

It’s funny, considering that Keir’s desire to slash payments for pensioners was overruled. We’re all taking these decisions together, are we??

And that it is our duty to the British people to face up to necessary decisions in their interest. And I mean Conference, you know me by now, so you know all those shouts and bellows, the bad faith advice from people who still hanker for the politics of noisy performance, the weak and cowardly fantasy of populism – it’s water off a duck’s back. Mere glitter on a shirt cuff. It’s never distracted me before, and it won’t distract me now.

This guy doesn’t know the definition of populism and has certainly never met a populist and had a good conversation with them. His political theories – to the extent that they can be called theories, and that isn’t much – are absolute nonsense. He wants you to believe that his government knows best (oh, they will make mistakes of course!), yet over the course of this speech so far, he hasn’t said anything remotely intelligent. It’s all just rhetoric, which, for anyone who doesn’t know, is designed to emotionally influence people, not tell them the truth.

This is a long-term project. I never said otherwise, not even in the campaign. But Conference, make no mistake, the work of change has begun. The patient, calm, determined era of politics as service has begun.

He really is an android!

OK, let’s take a little detour and talk about things “as a service”. In computing “software as a service”, also know as SaaS, is when a company offers software online or through a subscription model. That means, instead of paying for the software once and getting it, you instead pay for every month or year you use the product.

Now, despite the terminology, you may ask yourself, who is the party with the most power in this relationship? Is it the consumer, who has to pay to maintain it? Or is it the company, who receives payment and controls the development of the software and the direction it goes in? Who’s serving whom? The company might instate certain policies for the consumer’s benefit (such as a “cancel anytime” policy), but that’s only to make the product itself more attractive. The point is to make customers reliant on your product to do whatever they need to do, so that they’ll keep paying you. That’s why so many SaaS platforms offer free trials. The free trial is simply an adjustment period when you become dependent on the product.

There can be no question as to who has the most power here. It’s the company, meaning that the company isn’t serving anyone, and the “service” isn’t a service at all. The term SaaS is completely incorrect.

With that in mind, let’s bring our attention back to Keir’s rhetoric of “politics as service”. Now, who has the most power in this relationship between the government and a demographic of people who could all agree on something (and therefore act together as a party in the relationship)? Is it the demographic, which makes no policy decisions and has no direct control over what laws get instated? Or is it the government, which does make policy decisions?

Yes, if the people acted together, they could overthrow the government, but in reality, it would take a lot to make them all agree that the government needed to be overthrown. So they have to be split into demographics that typically agree with one another. Now, does any of those demographics individually have power over the government? No, absolutely not. Hence, it is the government that’s eminently in control.

It is of course true that the government offers services, but as a self-sufficient entity, it pursues the goal of keeping itself afloat and serving, not the people, but the politicians who run it. The UK’s government is not a “service”, it’s an enterprise of the MPs within it.

Planning – reformed. Doctors – back in theatre. New solar projects. New offshore wind projects. The onshore ban – lifted. Great British Energy – launched. One-word Ofsted judgements – ended. A Border Security Command. A National Wealth Fund – getting Britain building again.  The Renters Reform Bill – stopping no fault evictions. And the Railway Services Bill – bringing railways back into public ownership. And we’re only just getting started. A crackdown on knife crime. A real living wage. A modern industrial strategy. A 10-year plan for our NHS. Devolution to our nations, regions and cities. The biggest levelling-up of workers’ rights in a generation. More teachers. More neighbourhood police. More operations. Rebuilding our public services. Change has begun.

Give this guy a stack of puzzle cubes, he’ll spend all day making words out of them like “change” and “service”, and never do anything of actual worth!

And every single one a necessary step on a longer journey. Five national missions that will deliver the higher growth, the safer streets, the cleaner energy, the greater opportunities, the healthier society that I know the British people want and need. The mandate that we won.

Can you actually construct a proper sentence? That would be nice. You know what sentences are, right? Subject-verb-object?

But also something even more precious. Our economy – stabilised. The foundations of this country – fixed. Tory rot – cleared away. So brick by brick, we can build a new home. A better home.

Ah, and you thought now would be a good time to replace Tory rot with maladjusted-Labour rot?

Let’s skip some of this; it’s just rhetorical phrases with no information.

This is a time when great forces demand a decisive government prepared to face the future. We can see that again in the Middle East today. So I call again for restraint and de-escalation at the border between Lebanon and Israel. I call again for all parties to pull back from the brink. I call again for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, the return of the hostages and a recommitment to the two state solution: a recognised Palestinian state alongside a safe and secure Israel.

Thank God – if there’s one person Hezbollah will listen to, it’s surely Keir Starmer!

And that’s the message I will take to the UN General Assembly when I travel there later today. Alongside our steadfast support for Ukraine in the face of Russian aggression. And in this uncertain world, I also pay tribute to our armed forces for all they do to keep Britain safe.

Yes, but let’s not get carried away and actually do war veterans any good! No, let’s just pay them tribute! Maybe they’ve lost a close friend; maybe they’ve gone through trauma. Never mind that, we just pay lip service because actually doing something to help them isn’t required of us.

But Conference, strength in this dangerous world depends on strength at home. And yet look at our country. Look at our country. Do you see a Britain where people feel, with the certainty that they deserve, that the future will be better for their children? Because when I was growing up, that’s what we believed.

You can’t have known the reality of British politics, then – a system of privilege that will never benefit the people.

People of a completely ordinary working-class background like mine, we took it for granted. We built our lives around it. But that is not the country we inherited in July. That confidence, that certainty, it’s brittle and fragile. And so we have to restore it. That is the mandate we won. The meaning of change.

That explains a lot. Nothing says taking things for granted like accepting gifts – basically bribes – when your people are struggling just to survive.

And it all comes back to that question. Can politics be a force for good in peoples’ lives? There’s no time to waste wondering why people think politics has failed.

Yeah, let’s not think about why politics is a shitshow – let’s just carry on, making all the same errors as before because we didn’t reflect on the past! That’s the Labour Party we all know!!

The fact that this question – “can politics be a force for good” – even needs to be asked, as if it’s a brand new concept, just goes to show how deeply entrenched privilege is in British politics. In no sane world does this question even arise. Isn’t politics supposed to be just that at its most basic – a force for good, an ordering principle, a system that places some restrictions on everyone (the law) in order to benefit everyone (ordered liberty)? Why does Starmer not realize the inherent absurdity of having to ask that question?

But according to Starmer, there’s “no time” to think about any of this! What a fucking fool! You had all the time in the world, buddy – all the time in the world – to think about that before you got elected. The fact that you clearly didn’t is rather revealing of what kind of man you are.

We have to show what it can do for their lives. Restore, after fourteen years of chaos, faith in the values that have always guided this nation.

Well, those values clearly went wrong in the first place, so instead of talking like a Conservative, how about you conceive of new values to guide the country? There’s no point in going back to how things were. They’ll always go wrong again. The UK is very clearly, by-and-large a corrupt nation with corrupt values. Again, if Starmer had given the state of the UK any thought at all, he’d know this.

The Tories, wretched as they are, are a product of British values. Those values clearly need to be reviewed and examined in order to explain why they went so wrong and how they could be fixed. To say we have “no time” for that is the most ridiculous claim anyone could have seen all year – and that’s in a world where Trump exists! Get it together, you hopeless charlatan.

The stability, the moderation, the common sense. Keeping a cool head. Staying the course. Facing the future. The defiance of ambition. The determination of service. And above all, our faith, no matter the challenge, in practical solutions that work.

If they’re practical and they work, then no faith is required in them. That’s the very opposite of a situation where faith is needed, you idiot!

Not the easy answers that may well move a crowd but do not move a nation forward. No, Conference. We know that way lies ruin. We have seen it in our party and we changed it. And for fourteen years, against our country’s best traditions, we have seen it in Britain. And now we must change that too.

Uh huh. Do you actually know what you’re saying?

We must build a new Britain.

… by restoring faith in all the old values?

Do you actually realize that what you’re saying makes no sense whatsoever, or are you just dumb?

Built from that age-old spirit of creativity and enterprise. The pride and ambition of working people. That, when matched by a government of service – a decisive government, a government prepared to use its power for justice, opportunity and equal respect – can deliver a Britan that belongs to you. 

Opportunity? Justice? Ha! You clearly have no concept of Britain’s history, do you? It’s always been about privileged folk making all the decisions in their own interests while yapping to the working people about how much good they’re doing.

Just look around the Houses of Parliament (which you should know all about, Keir) and you’ll notice that there’s a chamber dedicated to the House of Lords. People in the House of Lords are not elected and only ever come to be there on a who-you-know basis (they pretend it’s about what you know, but of course, there could be a thousand people who know better than the people in there, and none of these better people will ever get in unless they’re personally recommended to the monarch). Plus, they serve there for life, meaning that even if they’ve proven themselves to be inept or selfish, they’re not removed! This is pure privilege and has nothing to do with opportunity or justice.

The House of Lords is an artifact of that time when the monarch and nobles were all-powerful, meaning that the UK is a place that pretends to have a democracy but in fact, your place in the hierarchy is certainly not decided by how smart you are or how successful your policies are.

A Britain that belongs to you. Because politics sees public service as a privilege. Not privilege as an entitlement to public service.

Maybe you should’ve cut that line out of your speech since you started accepting all that free stuff? Just a thought. Because now, you just look like a hypocrite.

A Britain that belongs to you. Because government is mission-driven and serious. Clear, measurable targets. Progress displayed publicly. So every single person in this country can judge our performance on actions not words.

They should judge your performance on actions and words.

A Britain that belongs to you. Because we maintain our focus, at all times, on fixing those foundations for working people.

While making sure we don’t piss off the billionaires, of course, who will manipulate people in our stead!

Those five national missions – providing the security and control they need. But also protecting us from the whims of Westminster, making sure that we don’t get blown off course. And a Britain that belongs to you.

Stop saying that!

I understand the power and responsibility of government. The way it can make or break a life.

Where was that level of awareness before now?

When you are Chief Prosecutor, when you look into the eyes of victims who have lost everything – parents whose daughter was raped and murdered, as I did with Penny and John – trust me, you learn about what government can and must do. 

That’s your method of endearment? You looked into people’s eyes?

They have all shown that the difference between service and government – true service – is that service must listen to people far beyond the walls of the state and empower them to make our country better. Because trust me, that is without question the quickest way to clear away the Tory rot and build that Britain that belongs to you.

It certainly doesn’t belong to pensioners, does it? Or to the underclass? What’s the government doing to serve these people? You’re a joke – or you would be if your sham policies were remotely funny.

And so change begins. Because there is another injustice hiding in plain sight in our streets. In every town and city in this country. People who were prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for our nation. Who put their lives on the line to protect all of us, but who will not have a safe place to sleep tonight.

And yet you will, won’t you? – we know you will. How can the government secure a cushy living for its sleazeball prime minister and not do so for war veterans? The contempt for regular people is clear to see.

We cannot stand by and let this happen anymore.

No – we have to make a, uh, “tough decision”, and make someone else’s life worse to compensate.

And so today, I can announce that this government will respect that service. We will repay those who served us. And house all veterans in housing need. Homes will be there for heroes.

Speaking of heroes, you know who’s not a hero? – you.

And because we have started the hard yards of planning reform. Because we are facing up to decisions ignored for years. Because we are introducing new planning passports that will turbo-charge housebuilding in our inner cities. We can make the very same promise to other people at risk of homelessness.

Can you? Or is that another “tough decision” that’s going to defund some critical government service?

When tackling benefit fraud and building pylons doesn’t turn out to drastically increase government budget – what then?

This is how the work of change happens. A decisive mission-led government, moving our country forward, step by step. Focused on a long-term plan.

The work of change does not happen by giving self-indulgent speeches or doubling down on the rhetoric. You know what would be a change, Keir? – if you started being fucking honest instead of dancing around the issue and playing it safe in your interviews. That would be real refreshing.

That first, we stabilise our economy. Second, we fix the foundation. And third, we build, with pride and determination, a Britain that belongs to you.

He will not stop saying that absurd soundbite. That’s how you know he’s nothing new, he’s just like every other politician. They have their own absurd soundbites too! Composing soundbites doesn’t make you special, Keir!

But it will be hard. That’s not rhetoric – it’s reality.

No, it’s definitely a reality that you’re incorporating into your rhetoric, so it’s both.

And so people ask us now, as we seek patience in pursuit of national renewal: “What we will we get to show for it?”

I understand that. After all, what they are used to is a lie. An act, a charade, a performance. You can call it populism – many people do. But I prefer to call it the politics of easy answers. Because at its core that’s what it is. A deliberate refusal to countenance tough decisions because the political pain is just too much to bear. Party first, country second.

Or maybe they’re just judging your government on its actions and not words? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Populism is the absolutely fair and justified recognition that the government is full of people who are in it for themselves. And have you, Keir, done anything to give people any reason to believe otherwise? No, you haven’t.

The bottom line is this: if there is a simple explanation for the ills of the world (which there is), then recognizing that simple explanation does not make you someone who seeks “easy answers”. You think that removing the rich elites from power is an “easy answer”? In many ways, it’s the hardest answer of all.

And this rhetoric-filled speech – you don’t think that’s promoting easy answers at all? The whole point of rhetoric is to convince people. You’re not seeking to explain anything, you’re seeking to pacify people (or preach to the choir, as the case may be here). That sounds like an easy answer, wouldn’t you agree?

You said populism is, “A deliberate refusal to countenance tough decisions because the political pain is just too much to bear.”

Well, British politics is, more and more, a deliberate refusal to countenance the plain truth that is staring you in the face because doing so would mean putting your career in danger and quite possibly courting enormous and very powerful enemies, and also because as a politician in power, you benefit from the way things are and therefore have no incentive to change them. So you just do more or less exactly the same thing as everyone has done before you, achieving nothing, making no great difference at all.

For you, the rhetoric of “tough decisions” is simply an excuse for unpopular and frankly harmful policies. If you were smart, if you actually worked for the people, you’d demand the end of inheritance. But you won’t will you? Because it’s not really the people that you serve; it’s the independently wealthy millionaires and billionaires in the world, who will never have to work a day in their lives because they happened to be born into the right family.

However, I would also say this. This is a Government of Service. And that means, whether we agree or not, I will always treat you with the respect of candour, not the distraction of bluster. 

This is bluster, darling. Quit speaking and start doing.

And the truth is that if we take tough long-term decisions now, if we stick to the driving purpose behind everything we do – higher economic growth so living standards rise in every community; our NHS facing the future – waiting lists at your hospital down; safer streets in your community; stronger borders; more opportunities for your children; clean British energy powering your home – then that light at the end of this tunnel, that Britain that belongs to you, we get there much more quickly.

In every community? Why do living standards also need to rise in super rich communities? Why not focus on the people who are worst off? You clown. Best not to speak at all – with every word, you wrap yourself more in your confused strand of rhetoric.

And look – I understand many of the decisions we must take will be unpopular. 

If they were popular – they’d be easy. But the cost of filling that black hole in our public finances, that will be shared fairly.

No, by “shared fairly”, you mean “shared equally”. Those are not the same. Why don’t the people who incurred these problems have to solve them? That would be sharing it fairly. Why don’t the people who pay no tax actually have to pay more tax for once? That would be sharing it fairly.

Man, with a guy this dumb, the UK could collapse within the next year!!

And no return to Tory austerity. We will rebuild our public services, protect working people, and do this in a Labour way.

And that is a promise. 

And if you can’t take that on faith, perhaps because you’re concerned about the winter fuel allowance, then I get that. As I say, if this path were popular or easy we would have walked it already.

See? Oh, it’s a tough decision, an unpopular path! We’re not screwing up, we promise! Your rhetoric is designed to set that excuse up. You’re not being clever, Keir. You’re not good at this. Stop.

I have never thought we should be relaxed about some sectors importing labour when there are millions of young people, ambitious and highly talented, who are desperate to work and contribute to their community.

Yes, but the important question is where they want to work. Can they fulfill their ambitions or do they have to spend years working in a warehouse or a factory because those are the only jobs you’ve made?

The Frat Minister

Shouldn’t every politician be made to live in low-value housing with a minimum wage budget and be forbidden from accepting any money or fancy hospitality? Hmm, wonder how much minimum wage would get risen then! The requirement to actually live like a lot of their people do would turn off the privileged and the self-interested. A leader should always get into power not because they’re interested in a cushy living but because they want to help people.

What do you say to that, Keir? You’ll move in on Friday? Are you ready to become the UK’s first Frat Minister? Of course not. You’d rather remain totally detached from conditions of normality.

Trumpism of the Day


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