You’ve been clocked. They know you’re on it, high as a commercial airliner. No one can subject you to the tyranny of reason. You are beyond the facts. It’s almost time for your daily dose. Get your setup ready. Do not subject yourself to the Democrats before administering Trumpamine if you want a good trip. You must have a clear mind – clear of all reasoning and critical thoughts.
Short-Term Effects of Trumpamine
- Intense euphoria while perceiving Donald Trump’s face. This can cause “Medusa syndrome”, where sufferers find themselves unable to stop staring. While the effects are temporary, this can be highly unsettling for some. Special care should be taken if attending one of his rallies or going to see him in person. It’s best to go with a responsible, sober person who can ensure that nothing goes wrong. Trump out responsibly!
- Vivid nightmares revolving around Trump’s fall from power. It’s important to realize that these are not real. After waking up startled, drink a glass of water and take two Tylenol, then try to go back to sleep. If you need to, check Twitter and/or Truth Social to reassure yourself that Trump is okay and has not been deposed. As you fall back to sleep, think of happy thoughts, such as the wall finally being built, or all Iranians being deported.
- Increased alertness to Trump-related information. You will notice it more, and anything not related to the Republican candidate might seem trivial in comparison. This can cause neglect of one’s duties and/or personal health. This can sometimes be combated with meditation, but many people struggle with this.
- Increased talkativeness and a compulsion to talk about Donald Trump. This may occur to an extent that irritates sober people around you. It’s important to remove yourself from a situation should it become toxic. Preferably, you should only be around other Trump supporters when taking Trumpamine.
- Starting to talk or act like Donald Trump. This is a less common side-effect, but it does happen. You may even actually believe that you are Donald Trump. This should fade with time.
- Violent behavior toward Democrats. People taking Trumpamine should stay away from anyone left of the political center due to possible unstable behavior.
Long-Term Effects of Trumpamine
- Repeated use of Trumpamine may cause you to reorganize your entire self around Trump-related subjects. You may become permanently disinterested in information unrelated to Donald Trump. You may spend entire afternoons scrolling through his social feeds or watching footage of interviews or rallies.
- Fatigue owing to days-long rants conducted on behalf of Donald Trump, defending his policies and whatnot. These can also cause social ostracism due to a lack of ability to talk about anything else.
- Increased appetite for Trumpisms (sayings or Tweets by Donald Trump). Some have been known to put them on their walls as posters.
- Irritability, especially when presented with information that depicts Donald Trump negatively.
- Paranoia, particularly the belief that everyone is out to get Trump and his supporters.
- A sense of unreality (or dream-like quality) regarding any information not espoused or confirmed by Donald Trump.
Why Trumpamine Is Addictive
Trumpamine can be highly addictive because it interacts heavily with the user’s beliefs and reasoning. It is therefore difficult for a person to decide to quit because they may not believe quitting is the right thing to do. A careful, honest, and open dialogue is essential.
Trumpamine Addiction Treatment
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction to Trumpamine, treatment and support are available. Behavioral therapy and support groups often go a long way in helping. Withdrawal from Trumpamine can be very difficult, but it is not life-threatening.